


Sometimes the truth is a burden you have to carry alone

by clawofglory



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Abuse mentioned, Angst, Drama, Drinking, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Love Triangle, Post Series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:06:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26664148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clawofglory/pseuds/clawofglory
Summary: Regina gets very tense all of a sudden, words rush out in a whisper, "Don't marry him," her eyes downcast. "What was that?" Emma attempts to keep her voice level and sound casual, giving Regina a chance to take it back. To keep this where it belongs, unspoken. "Don't marry him," Regina repeats, this time with more resolve. "You know why."~~"We always had bad timing"~~
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan, Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Maleficent, Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Maleficent/Emma Swan, Maleficent/Emma Swan
Comments: 20
Kudos: 85





	1. Chapter 1

Henry leaves the table and mumbles something about video games and runs upstairs. His mothers sit there in silence. Emma fidgets in her chair upon Henry's absence. Regina stares off into space as her fingers trace the edge of her tumbler.

Emma rises and pushes her chair in. She shrugs and says, "I guess I'll go home."

Regina gets very tense all of a sudden, words rush out in all but a whisper, "Don't marry him."

Regina's focus remains down on her lap. "What was that?" Emma attempts to keep her voice level and sound casual, giving Regina a chance to take it back.

"Don't marry him," Regina repeats, this time with more resolve.

"Why?" Emma asks, fearing the answer she already knows.

"You know why," Regina replies looking into her eyes. Emma remains still. "Don't make me say it," Regina pleads reaching out for her hand.

Emma pulls back violently. "No, no, you're- you're being selfish! You can't do this! I have never been put first by anyone in my whole life until him! No one chose me! I was never the one chosen to be adopted! I was always last on the list, left alone and unwanted, to watch while others got their happiness! And I will not be the person you settle for just because your _soulmate_ died, Regina! I won't do it, not when, not when I've spent this whole time loving you. Hook is my happy ending!" Emma's confession quickly raging into sadness, as she wipes the tears from her eyes and storms out, yelling "Isn't ruining my life once enough for you?!" as her last defense comes crashing down. "You told me you were happy for me!" Emma spits, the accusation cutting slices through the air.

 _I wanted to be. I really did._ "You wanted my blessing and I gave it to you! What did you want me to say!?" Regina retorts, the lump in her throat creeping into her voice.

"Maybe the truth!" Emma dares darkly.

"I already told you once, 'you were too good for Hook,' so why would you suddenly care about my position?" Regina challenges.

 _I always cared about your position,_ Emma thinks in earnest, followed by a snicker when she realizes more implications behind that. "Fuck you, Regina," Emma throws over her shoulder as she rushes out, trying to keep the tears from falling until she is alone in the safety of her bug.

In her wake, Regina releases the tense breath she had been holding the whole tirade. She downs what is left in her tumbler and then chucks it at the wall. She runs a hand through her hair as she tries to steady her breathing.

  


  


~0~

Emma comes back a few nights later to talk things over with Regina. Things had been radio silent since they fought. Emma had been reevaluating her life and thinking maybe she had been wrong about some things.

She goes to knock on the door as she approaches, she sees Regina inside through the lacy curtains. She is on the sofa, her back toward the window. As Emma looks closer Regina turns and she is topless and oh God she's not alone. She's straddling Maleficent. Regina sees Emma outside and they make eye contact. Regina freezes shock on her face and Emma turns to run hot tears burning her eyes. She had been wrong. She had been so wrong. Mal waves at Regina to go ahead. Regina hurries to the door slipping on heels and throwing over a blazer.

Regina catches up to Emma. She nervously tugs the blazer closer around her torso. Emma had wiped the tears gone by the time Regina reached her. Regina's own eyes look glassy as she shyly tucks a hair behind her ear. "Hi," she finally says. Echoing the awkwardness of this same space from years ago when they met.

"Hey," Emma tight lips.

"What- uh – what did you come over here to say?" Regina asks tensely.

 _That I thought about what you said and I broke it off with Hook._ "I was just coming to check on you, but clearly you are more than satisfied," Emma laughs a bitter laugh, her eyes hard.

Emma reaches out towards Regina and she flinches as if Emma is going to slap her, but Emma just cups her chin and rubs the pad of her thumb over her cheek. Something besides anger flashes briefly in Emma's eyes, "Good night, Regina."

Emma runs off slamming the door to her car as she leaves Regina standing there stunned. Regina watches the bug drive away, her body numb and unmoving. She raises her hand to her own cheek, feeling the shadow of Emma's touch linger, tracing it with her finger as she walks back to the house. Something felt so final.

Maleficent is gone from the sofa when she gets back. She figures it's just as well. She goes upstairs to shower her mind full and empty simultaneously, she needs to rinse this night out of her hair and down the drain. She is toweling her hair dry as she steps back into her bedroom when she sees Maleficent set up on her bed reading a magazine. "You're still here?" she puzzles.

"Don't really have anywhere else to be," Mal smiles as she coyly looks up, turning the page with disinterest.

If she can't wash Emma out of her mind, maybe there are other ways. "Do you-?" she begins.

"IF you're up for it?" Maleficent smirks.

Regina settles back into her place against Maleficent. "Oh, I'm up for it," she grins darkly.

…

"Why are you here still?" Regina asks, her limbs still tangled with the blonde's. "You know I'm using you."

"Maybe I'm just using you too," Maleficent says her voice distant as she draws lazy circles on Regina's stomach.

"Just don't fall in love with me, okay?" Regina jests lightly punching Mal's shoulder. Mal laughs airily for she is too far gone.

  


~0~ _Years later_

Emma knocks on the door of the only person she can think of at three in the morning. Her eyes still watery, make-up smeared, clothes disheveled. She rings the bell.

Regina rolls over in bed. She groans and untangles herself from Maleficent. Throwing her legs over the side of the bed, she bends down to kiss the hair of Mal's sleeping form. Regina's feet patter down the stairs as she yawns, hoping this better be important. She opens the door lazily agitated, her expression immediately changing upon seeing the state of Emma. She ushers her in and Emma flops herself into Regina's arms.

"I leave you to it," Mal sleepily replies upon seeing Emma's form in the atrium from where she stands atop the stairs. Regina looks guiltily up at her and Mal waves it off, knowing better to step between Regina and _her_ Emma.

Regina guides her over to the sofa. "You're safe here," she smiles down at Emma, covering the blonde's hands with her own. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asks gently.

"It's over, me and Hook, the marriage, everything," she wails though her tears. "He – he's got anger issues."

  
_Hook saunters in, seeing Emma snug in bed. "Hey, baby," he smiles sliding in beside her, snaking his hand around her hips, pulling her flush against him._

_"I'm tired," Emma pulls away._

_"Ah, I see you're too tired for me, every night, but not too tired to spend_ all _day talking about Regina," he pulls Emma back forcefully._

_"Let's talk about this in the morning," Emma pushes him back sleepily._

_"NO! Let's talk about this now! Do you even want this relationship!? Your pinning was cute and innocent in the beginning, but it's gone too far! Dammit! All you ever do is talk about Regina, worry about Regina, probably think about Regina! What about us!? Is your mind really in this?"_

  


"He? He did this to you!? I'll kill him," Regina replies suddenly tense. "I will, I mean if you want that," she softens.

  


_"It's me or Regina!" he yells. "Choose!"_

_"I choose Regina," Emma replies quietly, ducking and making herself small._

_He punches the wall above Emma's head. "The dyke doesn't even want you! She's married!" he retorts, on the edge of laughter._

_"Don't call her that!" Emma yells encroaching his space._

_He shoves Emma back onto the bed. Emma struggles against him as he holds her wrists. "Let me go! You're hurting me," Emma pleads._

_He looks at her harshly then spits in her face, "You're not worth it," and leaves._

  


"I- I – I don't know what I want," she collapses into Regina.

Regina shushes her cries as she pets her hair softly. "You'll stay here tonight, sweetheart. Let's go set up the guest bedroom," she gently pulls Emma up the stairs.

"Can- can I sleep in Henry's old room?" Emma asks hesitantly. "I – uh – I want to feel small."

"Of course, dear," Regina changes their course.

She tucks her in like a child and kisses the top of her head. "Is a story too much?" Regina jests.

"Maybe you could just sit with me?" Emma suggests feebly.

Regina lays down atop the blankets on her side next to Emma. She gently brushes the hair from Emma's face as they lie there in silence. Regina cups Emma's cheek as she whispers, "Good night," before heading back to her own room.

All of that was too, too domestic, for Regina's heart to handle. Once she is retreated to her room, she sees Mal still up. "How's she holding up?" Mal asks with genuine concern.

"She- she'll be okay," Regina smiles sadly.

"How are you?" Mal asks knowingly.

"Me? I'm – I'm fine," Regina slides into bed, brushing past the question.

They lay there in silence for what feels like an eternity, ignoring the elephant in the next room.

"Are you awake?" Regina whispers.

"Yes," Mal replies breathily.

Regina rolls over pressing her lips to her wife, desperately wanting her to be the only blonde she sees behind her eyes as she comes undone…

Regina is not quiet, and Emma thinks she feels worse than before as she tries to keep her hands still and her eyes from watering as she hears the woman she loves being bedded in the next room.

  


~0~ _A long time later, after Emma's divorce_

Emma walks into to Aesop's Tables, she steers herself to the back where Regina is sitting on Maleficent's lap laughing as they are feeding each other cherries from their cocktails. Regina slides off when she sees Emma and waves her over.

Maleficent greets Emma and then excuses herself to go home, saying something about "a girl's night." Regina's eyes widen and she looks up at Mal keenly, gauging her actions, and Mal just waves her off and kisses her on the cheek before she turns to leave.

Regina sits there anxiously, sucking at her straw shyly in Mal's wake.

Emma nods towards the door Maleficent recently left from, "She doesn't like me very much, does she?"

"She likes you just fine, Emma," Regina dismisses the thought. "She just likes to- give me my space."

"She's good to you, huh?" Emma surmises.

"Yes, she is," Regina confirms smiling down at her lap, where she folds her hands neatly.

After a moment she downs a shot, instinctively offering one to Emma, who shrugs. _What the hell_.

"Things are good?" Emma asks keeping her tone level, the guise of a tone of someone just checking in on their friend as they both sit drinking in the dim back booth ignoring the fact that they are playing footsie.

"Yes," Regina tight lips.

"I'm happy for you. I really am," Emma echoes Regina's lie from years ago.

" _Oh_ ," Regina replies.

"Yepp," Emma sighs ruining her hand though her hair. "We always had bad timing, didn't we?" Emma says casually bringing up all the repressed sentiments they don't talk about, as she flicks the straw wrapper off the table.

"We did," Regina sighs, taking a deep breath. "It would have never worked. You know? I would get upset with you tracking your boots all over the furniture and leaving uncovered bowls in the refrigerator, and we wouldn't talk about important things- We don't talk about- things. Sans, you know now," Regina gestures vaguely with a weak laugh as Emma tries to discreetly take her feet down from where they were on the booth seat next to Regina.

"You know that night I came to your house," Emma begins hesitantly, "- couple days after you told me to break it off with Hook."

Regina nods, smirking to herself. "The day you saw my breasts." Regina replies drily, "Yes, I remember."

"Well I wasn't gunna bring that up," Emma laughs. "But since you did, they were nice boobs," she hums.

Regina lets out a deep, throaty chuckle that makes Emma nervous.

"Anyway, I came over to tell you that I called the wedding off," Emma admits.

"Oh," Regina replies surprised and confused.

"And then I saw you and – I just went home and I took it all back and told him that I just had cold feet," Emma rushes though the story as Regina's face falls.

Regina takes a deep breath, at attempt to steady the room as her foundational beliefs crumble the walls around her, causing too much dissonance for her alcohol induced brain fuzziness. "I think, I've had too much to drink. I should go," she finally says weakly.

"I can drive you," Emma offers much too quickly, trying to make everything alright again. They are friends. She can't lose this. She was just talking about the past, trying to clear the air. Regina's married. She says it's good.

"I'll – I'll get a cab," Regina dismisses, gathering herself to leave.

"Okay, let me walk you out," Emma grabs her arm gently. Regina stares down at Emma's hand on her arm but doesn't pull away.

Outside they walk side by side. Regina turns suddenly to be very close to Emma. They now stand nose to nose, breathing each other's air. The tension grows but it's too dark to read all the emotions swirling in each woman's eyes. The world stops as their chests heave for something more. Regina leans in closer pressing their foreheads together. Emma refuses to make this choice for her. This must be Regina's choice. Regina pulls away abruptly. Emma reeling the loss of warmth from her face for just a moment before Regina turns around again cupping Emma's cheek. The pad of her thumb drifts along the curvature of Emma's lips, "Good night, Emma," she breathes before she leaves. Emma swallows down all feelings of dejection that she feels she has no right to have over her married best friend.

Regina heaves her stomach contents onto the sidewalk outside the manor. She stumbles the rest of the way, her brain not able to keep up with her body. She slumps against the door, once inside, her head in her hands. Maleficent heard her come in and descends the stairs.

Regina looks guilty up at her, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand, as tears bubble over. "Let's get you cleaned up," is all Mal says as she gingerly extends a hand.

Regina lets Mal guide her through the motions, like she's a feeble rag doll. It's nice not to be in control. It's nice she has someone to take care of her. Why can't this be enough for her?

Regina flops onto the bed, "Why do you let me do this?" she asks quietly.

"You're a big girl, Regina. If you want to get plastered, that's on you," she smiles softly behind her joking tone.

Regina huffs, folding her arms over her chest, looking downright pissy.

"Oh, you mean your other indulgence of the evening," Mal sours. "What do you want me to do? Play the _jealous_ wife and not allow you to see her?"

The jab pangs Regina's heart. She hesitates before offering a weak no with the shake of her head.

"Regina," Maleficent softens, "you're not a one-dimensional story book character. I know you- you have a past. Part of you will always love Daniel. And you have so much love for Henry and Emma. And even a tinsy bit for Snow."

"Take that back!" Regina retorts.

"You guys take turns being each other's parents. It's precious," Mal smiles sweetly. "But joking aside, I knew all this when I married you, Re. It's not like you're _suddenly_ in love with Emma Swan. I won't make you choose… It wouldn't end well… for me."

Regina opens her mouth to refute what Maleficent said, but coming up blank with anything truthful to say, she promptly closes it, and snuggles closer into her wife. Mal warps her in her arm and tears pool in Regina's eyes. They lay there in silence aside from Regina's occasional sniffle. Mal breaks this by languidly beginning, "If you're no longer happy, this- us… I'd – it'd be- I want you to be happy," she finally settles on, unable to find the words to convey. Upon hearing those words, Regina's chest convulses in sobs.

They lay there feeling each other's breathing and Regina calms down. Maleficent offers, "We could have a threesome," her voice distant.

"No – thank you, but no. I don't share," Regina decries. "When Emma first came here and wanted time with Henry, we were always down each other's throats-"

"-With your tongues," Maleficent chides.

Regina sits up straight, looking Maleficent in the eye. "You know, Emma and I have never kissed, right?"

"That's not the comfort you think it is to me, Regina…"

  


~0~

Regina sits in a booth at Granny's pushing her salad around her plate. Emma slides into the booth across from her. "Ya feeling better?" Emma asks.

"No, I'm still hung over three days later," Regina answers sardonically frowning. "Maleficent thinks we should have a three-way," Regina explains casually, her finger circling the lip of her glass. Emma recoils backward choking on air. "I told her 'no,' by the way," Regina adds.

At that moment while Emma is still coughing Mary Margaret slides down next to her and pats her back. "So what's going on with my two favorite gals?" Mary Margaret asks, smiling as Emma tries to regain equilibrium.

"We are talking about having a three-some," Regina quips, knowing Snow wouldn't believe her anyway. "What do you think? Do you think we should?" She lays it on thicker as Emma kicks her shin.

Mary Margret rolls her eyes, "Well if you wanted me to leave two you alone, you should have just said so. There's no need to be gross, Regina." Mary Margret pouts standing up from the booth.

"Mom," Emma wines. _Come back, save me._

"Enjoy your lunch. I'll see you later, Emma," she waves as she picks up her take-out from the counter.

Once Mary Margret is out of the door Emma exclaims, "Did you have to tell my _Mom?!_ "

"What? She didn't believe me," Regina snorts.

"Don't talk to my mom about sex! It's weird," Emma decries.

The rest of lunch goes by uneventfully, until Regina goes to leave. Emma grabs her forearm, "I'm sorry about what I said a few nights ago," she says sincerely. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"Water under the bridge, dear," Regina brushes it off. "What's in the past is in the past. It is in the past?"

"Yepp, past," Emma lies badly to keep up appearances. She rocks awkwardly on her heels, hands in her belt loops. "Okay, anyway," Emma replies skeptically. "Just wanted to make sure we're good."

"We're good," Regina smiles. The sweetness only lingering a moment before she sours and quips, "So how's your dating life, Swan?"

Emma grumbles and stalks off, not mad persay, just frustrated by Regina's superficial pretense of aloofness.

"Enjoy your day, Miss Swan," Regina calls out at her retreating form. When Regina calls her Miss Swan anymore she does it to prove a point that there's nothing lurking under the surface of their relationship. 

  


~0~

"I wanted to run something by you," Emma starts as she barges into Regina's office.

"And what would that be?" Regina asks disinterested as she is flipping through and signing some document.

"I was – kinda," Emma fumbles, "gunna go-out-with-Lily."

"You should, I think it would be good for you, for you two to make up," Regina replies not really listening to what Emma said. "Holidays would be easier."

"Wow, okay, cool, just wanted to make sure you were cool with me _dating_ your wife's daughter," Emma explains, waiting for Regina to catch on.

"You want to do what now!" Regina shakes her head at the thought. Her mind finally in the conversation.

"You could be my super cool stepmother!" Emma jeers.

"That worked out so well for Snow," Regina quips unable to help herself, before taking a more serious tone. "But I don't really think that's a good idea…"

"Why not?" Emma asks simply.

Regina opens her mouth to confess something, then thinks better of it closing her mouth, before shutting down emotionally and retorting, "No, fine, whatever. I don't care. Do what you want."

"Ah come on, Regina, I'm not really gunna marry Lily," Emma smiles. "It's just drinks."

"Do what you will," Regina refrains, disengaging with the conversation and going back to her forms, poorly covering her own hurt.

"Ah, come on, Regina, I'm only joking," Emma illuminates.

"WHAT!" Regina yells, now more mad than when she thought Emma was dating Lily. "What in your inconsequential world made you think it was okay to joke about dating my wife's daughter!?"

"I – I," Emma begins, but falling short as Regina rises from her chair in anger.

"What made you think that you could just waltz in here-!"

"I had a theory, I wanted to test," Emma winces, backing away.

"A theory? Well you are certainly testing my patience!" Regina gripes, stepping back closer to Emma.

"I – uh – I wanted to see how mad it would make you," Emma continues clarifying backing away slowly with Regina advancing menacingly, until Emma is up against the closed door.

"You wanted to see me mad? Well, here it is," Regina sneers darkly, provoking dangerously close in Emma's face, causing her to gulp.

They stare down each other, chests heaving. Soon anger is replaced by something else. Lips meet, and it's hot and heady, over a decade's worth of longing shoved into one kiss. And then it's not. Regina abruptly pulls back placing a soft hand on Emma's chest.

"Do you want me to stop?" Emma asks ragged.

"No," Regina replies barely more than a whisper. "But I should go."

"But it's your office," Emma calls after her feebly.

  


~0~

"Mal," Regina calls, her voice laced with guilt, as she enters the manor.

Maleficent comes halfway down the steps and Regina's reckoning is written all over her face. "You slept with Emma," she surmises, her voice level.

"We kissed," Regina corrects.

Mal nods, holding back her own emotion. "What changed?" Regina looks puzzled up at her, so she continues annoyed, "Why now?"

Regina bites her lip, unsure if she should say, but she feels she owes Maleficent honesty. "She – um - she told me that – before that she was going to break it off with the pirate, but – uh – then she – she saw us, together, and she well – she changed her mind…"

"So, basically, you resent me?" Maleficent concludes.

"No," Regina decries, much too fast. Running up the stairs to meet her.

"You know you probably should…" Maleficent begins, waving off Regina's outrage, "Not – nothing to do with Emma. Emma wasn't even born. Us, before. You were still so young, so pure, and I shouldn't have treated you like that…"

"What you did made me strong," Regina contends. "Made me realize who I was."

"Regina, that wasn't love!" Mal asserts, thinking her daft. "That was power."

"I don't harbor any ill feelings from that time, with you. Your forgiveness isn't mine to give," Regina smiles up at her sadly, knowingly.

"Hell, maybe that's what all of this is even about…" Mal huffs, her worldview coming undone. _"Maybe I'm just using you too," the words from the past reverberate in her mind._

"Making myself feel better about all this, about you. Trying to give you a better life to make up for what I took from you…"

"I chose to. I wanted to," Regina explains thick emotion clogging her throat, grabbing Mal's hand in her own.

"You never know what you want, Regina," Maleficent argues, talking about more than the past. "You dedicated your whole life to eating Snow's heart on a platter and you still, when given the opportunity, couldn't kill her…"

"You may think otherwise, but you forgive people too easily," Mal adds sincerely, dropping Regina's hand from her own. "I think I need to go away for a while," Mal maintains. Regina looks up at her tears welling in her eyes. "I'm going to give you this," she places the ring in Regina's hand, wrapping her fingers around it. "If you still want to be married, you can ask me again."

"I love you," Regina quakes.

"Sometimes, that isn't enough," Mal exhales before, disappearing in a plume of smoke.

Regina collapses on the stairs in fitful tears.

  


~0~

Emma raps gently on the open bedroom door. Regina looks up at her with puffy eyes and Emma enters. "Hi, I didn't know if you would want to see me…" Emma swings her arms awkwardly. "Well, Mom thought that you might, and…"

"Thanks," Regina smiles weakly to stop Emma's rambling.

"I just didn't know if you would want to see me after I kinda kamikazed your marriage," Emma continues.

"To use your eloquent wording, _I_ kamikazed my marriage," Regina corrects.

"Well I kissed you," Emma supports.

"I kissed you back," Regina retorts.

"I pressed you," Emma supplies, feeling guilty about making Regina feel jealous over a fake relationship with Lily.

"I pressed you first," Regina adds, remembering grilling Emma on her love life, when she knew Emma was only pinning for her.

"I shouldn't have told you," Emma says more serious than the previous claims.

It's then when she finally takes in the state of everything. Regina's hair mussed to her pillow, her eyes red and swollen, as she lays tucked under the covers surrounded by used tissues. Emma must have been staring at her too fondly, for Regina questions, "What?"

"It's just you've never looked so awful and I've never wanted to kiss you more," Emma smiles.

"How nice," Regina retorts, rolling her eyes.

"No- ugh, I just- I want to make you feel better. Here, let's start with this," Emma says waving her hand and all the used tissues disappear into the waste basket. "There, that's a bit better, huh?" Emma sits down on the edge of her bed.

"Thanks," Regina replies shyly. "I didn't have the energy to do that." Regina blows her nose.

"You really love her," Emma states, placing her hand on Regina's leg in support.

"I do," Regina exhales.

"You really love me," Emma states, but there is more of a question this time.

"I do," Regina confirms again with a sigh.

"It will get better," Emma offers.

"Will it?" Regina questions, rhetorically, before blowing her nose again.

"Yeah," Emma smiles that stupid toothy grin that makes Regina unable to keep from smiling too.

"Come lay with me?" Regina asks with no expectations.

Emma removes her boots before curling up atop the duet next to Regina. "Look, I can be _refined_ too," she signals to her boots being left on the floor.

Regina shakes her head as she takes Emma's hand in her own. They lay there enjoying each other's presence in comfortable silence for what feels like eternity. Maybe things will get better.


	2. Chapter 2

Emma breaks the silence. "But what I still don't understand is why you were with her," she recalls quietly, prompting for an answer.

Regina huffs indignantly at Emma's stupidity, "Because I love her."

"No shit, you do, now! But I meant like then, that night," Emma clarifies her voice descending to a soft lull as she finishes the sentence that began so strong outright.

"You know, probably the same reason you decided to come check on me when Henry went out for a sleepover," Regina postulates, becoming more agitated at this line of conversation.

"But- but," Emma flounders before continuing quieter, "what about what you said?"

"I was upfront with you and put my heart on my sleeve and you threw it back at me! What was I supposed to do? Sit around like a love sick puppy, waiting for you to realise I was worth your precious time!? I'm a queen for fuck's sake. I found someone who would appreciate me, even if for only that night. And you know what SHE WAS GOOD TO ME! She was always good to me..." _Why isn’t that enough? Why do I still want you?_ Regina's gaze falls towards the window as she sinks into her thoughts, trying to hold back tears that threaten to spill.

"I think you should go," Regina finally says her eyes still distant as she speaks. "I have too much of a headache for this conversation."

"Regina," Emma pleads, the name sounds much too like a whine for Regina's patience.

"Please, Emma," she implores, with a touch of desperation in her voice.

"I didn't mean to make you upset," Emma decries, her arms hitting harshly in the bed in her frustration with herself.

"That's the thing, dear, you never do," Regina sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. _It’s always the ones you love who have the power to hurt you the most._ "Please, Emma. I want to be alone," Regina repeats.

Regina looks down uncomfortably as Emma hastily swings her feet off the bed, shoving them back into her boots with an angry huff. "Fine!"

_"I told you before this would never work,"_ Regina thinks as she hears Emma slam her front door on the way out.

  


~0~

The respite of Regina's brain comes in the form of a much needed nap. She is awoken by a knock on her bedroom door. "Go away, Emma," she hollers her voice still hoarse from sleep.

"I'm not Emma," Mary Margret answers sweetly. "And I brought soup."

"Fine," Regina huffs. She really was hungry.

Mary Margaret pours the soup from her thermos into a bowl she had been carrying and hands it to Regina.

"Thanks," Regina replies weakly as she blows on the soup.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Snow asks gently.

"No," Regina sharply replies, slurping her soup.

"Okay, I just thought I should check on you considering Emma got back and just flopped onto sofa in a fit of sobs," Snow recalls.

"Really?" Regina asks, a twinge of hopefulness that Emma really cares coloring her voice. After a moment of thought she recants, frowning, "That doesn't sound like Emma at all. Is that really what she did?" Regina eyes Snow sharply. "Did you really even see her?"

"Well, no," Snow says lightly. "But she did text me: effed it up again. ugh. I'll be the rabbit hole if you need me. Can u make sure Regina eats dinner?"

"Now that sounds like Emma," Regina quips, rolling her eyes but her heart lifts a bit for Emma wanted to make sure she eating.

~0~

After a lonely afternoon that turned into a lonely night of drinking Emma slides into bed with a stained shirt and a bleak outlook. The morning comes and Emma slams a few aspirins. And after a greasy Granny’s breakfast, eaten at lunch time, the fog in her head finally clears a bit and she can reflect. She orders an apology grilled cheese to bring Regina, even if she doesn’t want to see Emma, Emma doubts she’ll suddenly have the momentum to take care of herself.

Had Emma bet on it, she would have been wrong. Emma keys in the door and as she walks into the kitchen to grab Regina a drink she runs into Regina- fully made-up, scrubbing the counter.

“Oh, hi, Regina,” Emma startles. “I -uh- came to appologise,” Emma teeters her weight from side to side.

“That’s nice, dear,” Regina dismisses as she continues to clean, her whole focus remaining on her own harsh motions.

“I brought you some lunch,” Emma explains holding up the greasy bag.

“Thanks, I’ve already eaten,” Regina intones. Her arm still scrubbing vigorously. Emma learns over closer and notices she has been working on the same clean looking spot since Emma arrived.

“Regina, do you want to maybe take a break from cleaning and we can sit down and talk?” Emma suggests gingerly.

Regina ignores her. Emma approaches her carefully, gently placing her arms over Regina’s effectively stopping her movements. Regina freezes for a moment then collapses all her weight into Emma.

Emma gingerly guides the other woman over to the sofa. Regina walks like a zombie or maybe a child just glad to have someone to dictate her actions.

“How are you feeling?” Emma tries to ask a sensitive question, something other than ‘are you okay?’ because she knows Regina is anything but.

Regina takes two sharp breaths, turning her head so her glassy eyes meet Emma’s before her chest heaves and she is unable to hold herself together and fit of sobs escapes again.

Emma reaches out to pet her back as she leans further into Emma’s embrace. She looks up to Emma as if she were a child. “What am I doing?” she pleads, desperately wanting to know where to go from here.

“I don’t know, Gina. I don’t know,” Emma intones as she traces circles on Regina’s back, tucking Regina’s head into the crevice of her clavicle.

“Do I even deserve to be happy?” The question sounds defeatist, as if she already envisions the answer. As the words leave her lips, she convulses into herself more.

Emma tilts her chin upwards to look into her eyes, so she can see the conviction there. Her hand lingers upon Regina’s face. “Yes, Regina, you deserve the world.” She says as she swipes her thumb gently along Regina’s cheek.

Regina turns from Emma’s touch. “From here it seems like all I ever do is hurt the people I love… I’d rather hurt me,” she recites with a deep exhale that stills the air. “She thinks I resent her,” Regina almost laughs.

“Well do you?” Emma prods.

“I don’t know,” Regina muses, her gaze lingers blankly focused upon a spot on the wall. “It’s so easy to get all wrapped up in someone who makes an effort to love you, when you’re not sure you deserve it, without ever really considering your own feelings,” Regina surmises, flashing a knowing glace to Emma, referencing Hook and if she think back that is how it had been with Robin. “Even more so when they are actually nice to you,” she tries to be snarky, but it morphs into a sigh.

“Do you resent me?” Emma asks, feebly.

“I don’t know,” Regina intones, her eye reaching up to Emma’s. In those glassy eyes Emma sees so much pain and hurt, remorse and love, she feels swallowed in their depts. Then a fleck of something else flashes in those deep orbs.

Before Emma can register fully, Regina’s lips are on her own. It’s soft and sloppy, too full of need. Regina is shoving Emma down on the sofa, her hands wandering under Emma’s jacket as she trails open mouthed kisses across Emma’s cheek. Emma steadies her hands on either one of Regina’s shoulders as she pulls back a bit. “Not to be ungrateful or make it seem like I’m not enjoying this- I am. But are you sure this is really what you need right now?”

Regina flinches back. Emma tenses hoping to not have set off another tirade, but Regina just slides off her with a sigh. “Oh, darling,” she cups Emma’s cheek before rising and exiting the room.

~0~

After a long night of tossing and turning she realises that she needs to find Maleficent, for better or worse Regina is important to both of them, and she’s hurting so… it’s what Emma should do, even if it’s awkward or painful. They could hopefully be civil for Regina’s sake.

Emma knocks on the wood door. It wasn’t too hard to figure out where Maleficent was taking up camp. Maleficent opens and with a sigh asks, “How did you find me?”

“Listen, finding people is what I do,” Emma illuminates.

“Oh, I know, yes. The saviour are you here to save me?” Mal drawls, annoyed.

“Uh—no,” Emma squirms. “I’m here because I think it could help Regina- ya know- if we talked.”

“So, talk,” Maleficent prompted.

“Do you like hate me or something?” Emma huffs exacerbated. “Because Regina told me about the whole threesome thing and-“

“No, I don’t hate you, Emma,” Maleficent softens. “It’s just—it’s just-- do you know how it feels to be with someone who would rather be with someone else?” She sighs. “And the whole threesome thing, I was just pulling at straws desperately trying to make her happy. I was willing to try anything… It’s horrible having to watch the woman you love repeatedly choose you out of some sort of noble obligation of love or hero complex, all the while her smile never quite reaches her eyes- eyes that tell a different story, of wanting- longing for a different reality…”

“That’s why you leave whenever I come around,” Emma surmises quietly.

“Yes,” Mal nods. “She’s so happy when it comes to you. Her face just lights up when she talks about _her_ Emma, and I just stand there feeling a million miles away. Maybe it was wrong of me to stay as long as I did, but I didn’t intend to break her fragile heart more- she’s been through so much-“ Mal’s eyes glass over with unshed tears. “How- how is she?”

“Uh—” Emma’s arm reaches around the back of her neck. “She’s- she’s upset. And well- I haven’t helped things. Maybe- maybe we should all sit down and talk together like help her get some closure or something?” Emma suggests.

~0~ a few days later

Things were going good, maybe they weren’t really getting anywhere, but things were getting out into the open. There was lots of talking about feelings and gentle hand grasping and wiping away sobs with one’s fingers (or in Emma’s case her sleeve): true lesbian fashion. Everyone was subdued and acting rationally in dealing with this situation, that was until Maleficent released what she had been holding back.

“In the interest of being honest with you, Regina. I think there’s something you should know. Some information that you have been owed for a very long time,” Maleficent announces wrapping her hand around Regina’s as it lay atop the table.

“Okay,” Regina replies anxious, unsure what this new information she should already have known could possibly be.

“I’m not really sure how to say this after all this time, but you’re Lily’s mother, like biologically.”

“I’m. Lily’s. Mother,” Regina repeats slowly digesting the words that make no sense. “She’s- we- how is this possible?”

“Dragon reproduction is different than it is with humans,” Maleficent explains, treading lightly. “Two women can create life and I’m sure you can figure out the rest.” She smirks.

“Two women,” Regina repeats devoid of emotion, still in shock. “I see.” She nods her head up and down still trying to process this bombshell. “Does she- does Lily- does my daughter- does she know?” Regina stammers.

“No,” Maleficent replies quietly, guilt washing over her features.

“I see,” Regina replies for lack of what to say, even though she really doesn’t. Like the calm before the storm, Regina stands to physically remove herself from the proximity of the situation and she expels a deep breath to self soothe, but it does little to disquiet the whirlpool of emotions swimming inside the brunette. “You had years to tell me and you, what? Weren’t going to?” her voice hard and nearly threatening. “You were just going to keep this from me!? Did you know the whole time? Did you not think I deserved to know!? Did you not think I deserved the truth?! Did you not think Lily deserved the truth!? After everything, I’ve never kept anything from you, and what I don’t deserve your honesty! Oh my god, oh my god,” she breathes hard. “I need to sit down. How could you do this?” the _to me_ gets left unsaid.

“Well I was going to tell you, but I was just getting to know her and I didn’t want to spring too much on her at once. Then it just never felt right to drop this information onto your lap, with all you were going through and then we were married and she became your daughter anyway so I figured-“ Mal flounders, causing Regina to rise again.

“You knew about this?” Regina harshly interrogates Emma.

Emma raises her hands in innocence. “No, no, I didn’t know.”

“God, I should know better than to trust blondes by now,” she huffs as she begins to pace. “Why can’t either of you tell me the truth!? And let me decide what I want to do with MY LIFE and stop making all these decisions for me! I’m a big girl! I can handle it!”

Both blondes fill the air with assurances that Regina silences with her hand.

“You, my dearest and lovely wife,” Regina goads, “view our marriage as a sham, but still selfishly remain tethered to me, out of some misguided penance for corrupting me- a child- all those year ago! The whole time in this marriage assuming I’m unhappy and my heart remains elsewhere, a happiness you, if your story is to believed, are affectively keeping me from. Until- well- I finally cheat on you and you leave me up and dry- no discussion. Furthermore, you constantly kept this secret that I am the biological mother to your daughter and you only tell me this little fact after we are separated and you’ve told me find my happiness elsewhere! Very noble, indeed,” she sneers.

“You” she points to Emma, “No, you’re not off the hook- Hook, ha!” a dark, bitter laugh reverberates throughout the room. “You kept all these feelings you had for me to yourself, when it would have been- oh I don’t know- expedient to tell me when I told you it was mutual, but no you had to go off and marry a pirate of out spite when instead you really loved me. That wasn’t fair to him nor me! Not that I care about that scumbag… And to make matters worse you tell me this fact when I am happily married to someone else! Thank you, Emma Swan!”

“I – I just can’t believe this!” Regina throws her hands in air exacerbated. “You’re both too damn selfish! I don’t even want to look at either of you!” A cold hard laugh erupts from her throat, it’s hysterical and hallow devoid of any element of joy. She grunts, conjuring a fireball and hurling it at the wall. “God, can anyone be truthful with me? I know I’ve done unspeakable things but this- this is what I get instead of a happy ending,” the words choke out as a sob. “I know I don’t deserve unicorns and rainbows, but this!” Regina stands there, chest heaving. “Fuck all of you!” She slides both hers and Maleficent’s rings off her finger and chucks them in her direction. “I’m going to go met my daughter. She’s not blonde so maybe she might have escaped the lying to me gene!” And with that Regina conjures a cloud of smoke to disappear into the night. Only when the smoke clears Regina remains lying on the floor unconscious as blood dribbles out her mouth.

Mal and Emma both rush over to Regina. Emma tries to shake her awake. Mal magics them all to the hospital. The doctors quickly take Regina away. Maleficent explains to Whale that Regina had tried to dissaparate then collapsed.

As they wait, Emma collapses into Maleficent’s embrace and she rubs her back tenderly. “She’s going to be okay,” Maleficent intones. They eventually sit down atop hard lobby chairs. Maleficent props her head up in her hands as her weary eyes flitter closed. As Emma fidgets in her chair, its uneven legs cause a squeak as it teeters back and forth. Mal opens her eyes to glare at Emma, annoyed by the constant noise, in her already throbbing head. Emma looks back apologetically as she tries twiddling her thumbs instead.

It must have been hours before someone comes out to talk to Maleficent again. She is still legally Regina’s wife, so she gets all the attention. Dr. Whale asks her about what was going on before Regina collapsed. He asked was she undergoing anything strenuous anything emotionally, physically, or magically draining. Maleficent sighs, already blaming herself for the situation and confirms that suspicion. He recounts that basically what happened is that Regina tried to magic herself elsewhere but was too drained and only was able to magic part of herself a miniscule distance. He explains that basically she tore up her insides, having only moved some of her molecules a micrometer. Emma looks on horrified and Maleficent looks resigned and broken.

He assures her that they have currently stopped the bleeding and are doing everything they can, but there is not much they can really do on the medical side of things, it’s more of a magic problem and that being the case they are calling in Mother Superior for her expertise. Maleficent nods as a tear slides down her cheek. Emma pleads desperately involving herself in the conversation, “So, is she going to be okay?”

“We can’t say for sure,” is his reply. “There’s not really a lot of precedent for this kind of thing.” He turns to take leave of the two women to process the latest information about Regina’s condition.

Emma goes to get a hot chocolate from the vending machine and brings Maleficent back a cup of tea. Mal smiles weakly at Emma as she takes the drink from her. Mal’s mind is still stirring as she gazes down steaming coming off the tea. Maleficent’s inner monologue constantly berates herself for dropping the news on Regina how she did. Regina was right it was selfish. What if Regina never really gets to know Lily as her real daughter? The look on Mal’s face must have looked distressed for she is drawn from her thoughts by Emma Swan lightly grasping her arm and telling her with soft smile that Regina will be okay. “Regina’s a strong woman. She’s nothing if not a fighter. You know that as well as I do.” She tries for a feeble laugh but it comes out more of a sigh.

Dr. Whale walks back out and informs Maleficent that Regina’s own magic has rebuked Reul Ghorm’s magic, so it’s up to Regina’s own magic to heal herself, which they’ve noticed she has been doing based upon seeing spontaneous improvement on her test results. He talks about the possibility of a full recovery and warmth washes over the two guilt ridden women. He goes on to talk about how she remains unconscious, which albeit is expected considering the amount of damage that was done. He finishes by saying that she however is stable for the time being and she could accept visitors.

They walk back the long hallway in the ICU. Each new light fluorescent light overhead goes by as if Emma is looking out from a tunnel. It feels stiffening, suffocating; Emma’s breathing becomes hurried. Maleficent lays a hand on Emma’s arm, bringing her back to the present. A nurse greets them and asks for their relationship to the patient Maleficent simply replies “wife,” as Emma wavers her weight from foot to foot figuring out how to explain what she is to Regina. Maleficent saves her by offering that Emma is Regina’s granddaughter as she drags her along.

As they suit up in scrubs, Emma hisses, “Did you have to say that? That’s she’s my grandmother?”

“Well, she is,” Maleficent retorts. “your step-grandmother, I mean.”

“Yeah, but I don’t like to think about that,” Emma maintains. “And I mean she was frozen in time for 28 years, so it’s not like she’s really old enough to be my grandmother.”

Maleficent nods, her mind not really in the argument that Emma is formulating to distract herself from her anxiety about seeing Regina. “Yes, what the family we have,” she notes blankly. “It gets even stranger when we consider that you have kissed both my wife and our daughter.”

“Yeah, I don’t want to think about that either,” Emma instantly replies, before noticing what Maleficent really said and aiming a perplexed look in her direction.

“Oh yes, I talk to my daughter,” Maleficent chuckles. “And my wife too, as you well know.”

They head into the room and take up sides on either side of Regina’s form. An awkward lull overtakes the space, only the beeping of the machines is heard. It’s such a shock to see Regina like this, so broken so vulnerable. Emma keeps her distance feeling intrusive as Mal brushes the hair from her face, sweetly pressing a kiss to her temple. Mal is whispering promises into the crown of her head and Emma feels like she doesn’t belong here. They may both be Henry’s mothers, but he’s grown now and Regina has a life; Regina has a wife. She now feels Regina’s muted indignation that Emma ruined this. Hell, she’s not even the only who shares a child with Regina.

But Maleficent too had kept secrets from Regina. Funny how secrets have dictated Regina’s whole life, from Snow telling Regina’s secret causing her descent to the strong Evil Queen and then both Emma and Maleficent keeping secrets from Regina causing her plunge into this weakened state. Tears leak from Emma’s eyes. She’s feels worthy to be here. She thinks Regina would have been fine had she not intervened. Regina would have been okay if Emma had just left her alone. But Maleficent had invited her along see Regina too; she had held Emma close and comforted her. Regina was right; Maleficent was too good.

But Regina was furious at both of them. Maybe now they need each other more than they realise. Maleficent pulls back giving Emma some space. Emma leans in cupping Regina’s face tenderly, as they had many times before, but now the meaning was somehow different. Maybe there is a place for her too in this messed up situation. Maleficent had called her family after all.

They keep vigil by Regina’s side for the coming days, passing like ships in the night, day in and day out. Spending too much time crumpled trying to sleep in the white plastic chair, aching back a weak distraction from the pain within the heart. Whale assures them of improvement, slow and steady. Sometimes Emma and Mal will retell memories of their Regina. Mal’s smile softens then, and Emma offers weak chuckles accompanied by dreamy eyes. Emma notes Mal almost seems found of their time together, but Emma thinks it has more to do with the escapism of memories and growing to know other aspects Regina more though her stories.

One night as they sit there in Regina’s presence, out of the blue Mal comments, “You know at one point she thought you were her true love.”

Emma’s head reels backward and her mouth goes eerily dry in shock.

Mal continues, “Mind you, this was a long time ago, but I suspect that feeling never dissipates entirely…” the sentence trails off as she launches into a retelling of that night.

_Regina had been drinking. Her pupils large in the firelit room. They sat curled up in the study as they often would. She flicks her eyes over to Mal before lingering her gaze on the distant wall. “You know, once I had thought that Emma was my true love, isn’t that silly?” she asked with a light shake of her head, her eyes flitting momentarily closed, betraying her casual tone._

_Maleficent freezes, griping her tumbler tighter as she tries to slow her heated breathing._

_“This was a long time ago,” she interjects to herself as a way of convincing Mal that this wasn’t how she currently felt, to brush this all off as mere story about the past._

_She resituates her legs underneath herself before continuing. “My – my magic it wasn’t working. We were trying to get a magic hat to work and it wasn’t. Then she grabbed my arm and I felt – then it started working. I didn’t know she had magic at that time and I stupidly thought that was the reason.” An almost somber sounding chuckle escapes as she tries to shake off her feelings of being forlorn. “True love the strongest magic of all,” she recites bitterly into her drink before chugging the rest of it._

_“Enough story time for the night,” she smiles to Mal, rubbing hands on her, gently dragging her up. “Come on, let’s get you to bed,” her tone somewhere between innocent and teasing. Her intent however became instantly clear by the wink that followed her words._

_They only get halfway up the stairs before Regina is pushing her into the wall. Pressing her lips roughly to Mal’s, then dragging them languidly down her throat as her fingers prod away at clothing seeking skin contact. Her nails decisively raking down Maleficent’s back as she moans into her mouth. Maleficent gets caught up in the heated exchange, before gingerly pulling away. Regina looks up at her with a mixture of hurt and confusion. Mal envelopes her arms around her tiny frame and justifying, “I think you’ve had a lot to drink tonight and maybe we should just go to sleep.”_

_The light suggestion met with slightly parted lips and large pleading eyes from Regina. “I love you,” she speaks breathlessly, her cheeks slightly puffy. Mal just takes her hand and tenderly, wordlessly drags her wife to their bed._

_After Regina would talk intimately about Emma, she would always become heated and clingy. Mal was never sure if it was guilt or misplaced longing. She didn’t ever want to dwell on the thought. But tonight, after what Regina said, it just didn’t feel right to take her up on her affections, even if Regina desperately wanted it from her._

She leaves out the end of the story in her retelling to Emma. It hurts too much to repeat aloud. Emma takes in a sharp breath at the completion of the story. Nodding her head constantly in an almost self-soothing manner, trying to wrap her head about what she just heard. Emma recalls that day well. She felt it too, a slight buzz, a weak jolt, something, something happened that day. Regina makes much more sense now. It tugs at Emma’s heart now thinking back about how she had seemed almost sad in her shocked when she learned of Emma’s magic. They fought that day and Regina was fuming, misdirected righteous anger. Regina had been angry before and they always fought but something about that day on her porch was more. Regina had seemed out for blood seeking to hurt and Emma was quick to match her passion. That was what always existed between: passion. A passion borne of rage and hurt from broken abandon. Yes, that is what made them special, maybe even unique.

But what leaves Emma more stunned and confused is why is Maleficent telling her this. Maybe they will all find a way to be happy together. Maybe, maybe, Emma hopes. As they sit in silence each holding one of Regina’s hands that future seems all the more possible and Emma lets out a shaky breath she had been holding as she offers a weak consoltative smile to the woman at Regina’s other side. Emma meant what she told Maleficent: “Regina’s a strong woman. She’s nothing if not a fighter,” and deep in her bones Emma feels that. Emma knows that Regina will indeed be okay, and if she can, maybe they all will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the whump. It hurts me more than it hurts you. Regina is baby <3  
> All my love to the lovelies that have been commenting. It will get better then worse then best.


	3. part III

Like any other day, Emma spends her time at the hospital she wishes she had Henry’s storybook to read Regina like her mother did for David, maybe then she’d wake up. Maleficent spends a lot of time whispering to Regina, but Emma doesn’t pry not matter how much she wishes she knew what the other woman was saying. Mal leans back eventually with a tight smile upon her lips.

Emma’s hand lingers on the bed near Regina’s, as her and Mal talk together comfortably. Over all this time the two blondes have spent together with Regina they are really beginning to enjoy each other’s company. Their smiles linger longer and occasionally their hands will brush when reaching for Regina and their cheeks will blush and maybe it’s all too much, but they have spent practically every moment together so maybe it was bound to happen this way.

The hum of the lights is beginning to blare in Emma’s brain as sleep seeps into her features. Mal gingerly tells Emma she can stay the night that Emma should head home and get some real sleep. As Emma stands and goes to pull her hand away from the bed, Regina’s hand grasps out for her touch. Emma freezes unsure it’s not just her drowsy brain playing tricks on her. But after she shakes the sleep from her head she looks down and Regina’s hand is right where it had been atop the blankets. Maybe she just imagined it, but she swore she felt Regina’s grip around her wrist.

She can’t keep her mind off it the whole drive home. It racks her brain. She desperately wants Regina back, but she’s scared what if Regina still hates her? What if Regina blames her? What if she can’t spend nearly every minute with her? What if Regina doesn’t want her around? These are shellfish thoughts she tells herself as she collapses in a fitful sleep.

When Emma arrives the next morning, Mal informs her that Regina had almost mumbled something late last night. They tell Whale about the events and he assures them that these are good signs, progress.

Three days later, while Maleficent had been out grabbing lunch, Regina gasps and her eyes flutter open briefly. Emma leans in cupping her face gently, desperately. “Muh- muh,” she utters weakly.

“I’m here, Gina, I’m here,” Emma assures her, a desperate joy etching her features when finally gazing upon those beautiful dark orbs once again.

Regina begins to come to, enough to squeak out the word “Henry?”

Emma assures her Henry is fine. Although she doesn’t really know for sure, he had been unreachable in the enchanted forest, but Regina doesn’t need to know that now.

Maleficent walks into the room and as reaches the threshold she sees Regina awake and the brown take out bag slides from her hands onto the floor. “Oh Re,” she rushes over her voice soft and hopeful. She grabs Emma’s hand along with Regina’s.

“Does it hurt?” Emma asks weakly as the same time Mal asks, “How are you feeling, my dear?” They look at each other and smile.

“I – I feel tired,” Regina replies.

“Yes, well healing yourself does take a lot out of you,” Mal confirms as she gently stokes her thumb across Regina’s palm.

“When can I see Henry?” Regina requests.

“Uhh- he’s not here,” Emma replies rubbing her hand awkwardly to the back of her neck.

“Well, where is he?” Regina fumes.

Unable to lie without Regina knowing she reluctantly tells the truth. “He’s in the Enchanted Forrest, I think. We haven’t been exactly able to get in contact with him.” Emma breaks eye contact with Regina as she speaks.

“You lost my son!” Regina spits. She tries to sit up in anger, but the machines start beeping and everything hurts to move and Mal guides her gracefully back down.

“No, I didn’t lose him. He – he’s his own person. I’m not his keeper,” Emma responds indignant.

“Well you’re his mother,” Regina sneers with a deflated huff.

“Yeah and he’s an adult, so forgive me if I’m not exactly in the loop on all his coming and goings,” Emma retorts.

“He’s – Henry’s an adult,” Regina repeats in disbelief. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “How- how long have I been out?” she asks fearing the answer.

“Regina, what’s the last thing you remember?” Emma poses the question already knowing the answer wasn’t fuming about how everyone in this room failed her.

“Don’t you have a pirate to get back to?” Regina presses annoyed.

“Uh- no, we’re divorced,” Emma replies automatically, unsure what this has to do with the conversation.

“Oh, and are we---?” Regina begins to ask timidly.

“Friends, Regina, just friends,” Emma finishes the thought as she flashes a heartfelt glance to Maleficent.

“Friends,” Regina repeats, as if the word is foreign on her tongue.

“Yes,” Emma confirms softly, tenderly, dejected.

“So, are you two?” Regina gestures vaguely between Emma and Mal.

“No, no,” Emma laughs much too nervously, not like the thought hasn’t crossed her mind these past few weeks, but they wouldn’t do that to Regina, they couldn’t. “But um you two are,” she finishes helpfully.

“We’re?” Regina turns to look at Mal, her face scrunched as she attempts to make sense of all this new information at once.

“Married, yes,” Mal says reaching her ringed hand into Regina’s with a smile.

Regina smiles back weakly, unsure but hopeful.

Emma pulls away from the couple and mutters something about leaving. Regina reaches out like she had when she was unconscious grasping Emma’s wrist, “Emma, wait. Don’t leave me,” Regina pleads.

Emma casts a helpless glance to Mal and Mal nods her approval. So, Emma returns back to her seat. She knew it was the right thing to let them have a true opportunity to be a couple without her interference. She owed them both that. But it didn’t make it hurt any less.

~0~

Regina returns home from the hospital, but her muscles have greatly atrophied, so Mal invites Emma to stay at the manor with them so they can help Regina maneuver around and do her physical therapy.

Maleficent and Regina seem to be getting close again and Emma is happy for her. She’s happy for them, she really is. But they day she walks downstairs and finds them making out on the sofa is a day she’d really rather forget, but at least they were both fully clothed this time.

Emma first noticed it happening when Mal would walk behind Regina in the kitchen and instinctively place her hands on Regina's hips. Regina would bite her lip and look down then suddenly Emma's soggy cereal was unappealing. Regina would shyly brush a lock of hair behind her ear and Mal would say something like, "Regina dear, want to help be make some breakfast," and Regina would follow her like a puppy.

They would curl up on the sofa. Regina would lay her head in Mal's lap and Emma would scrunch up as small as she could in the other corner as her eyes traced the movements of Mal's hand lightly combing through Regina's hair while the movie played. Regina would occasionally turn away from the screen and smile contentedly up at Maleficent. She would also occasionally poke Emma's leg with her toes and wink. This would cause Emma to shrink down into herself much more.

But Emma keeps to herself more now that Regina is gaining her strength and doesn’t need as much help. She stays often in her room- the guest room- a guest, that’s all she’ll ever be in this family.

Emma lays on the bed bouncing a ball at the celling trying hard not to think too much when she hears a knock on the door. After yelling permission, Maleficent slides into the room and sits on the edge of bed. “Is this okay?” she inquires as she settles. “Can we talk?”

Emma sighs.

“I get this can’t be easy for you,” Mal hedges. “And I’m sorry, but I’m grateful. Regina and I are – things are good. Thank you… You know you didn't have to do what you did," Mal enunciates with a quiet sadness leaking into her voice.

"Yeah, well you'd do the same for me," Emma surmises. "I just wanted to give you your best chance."

"I don't think I would,” Mal refutes. “I don't think I could be so selfless and gracefully bow out like you did- not with the woman I love. That's a big sacrifice, Emma."

"You already did," Emma reminds, flashing her a weak smile.

Mal bows her head. "I'm sorry, I really am."

"Eh, water under the bridge," Emma waves off the apology.

"It's not, but I'll drop it for now," Mal replies, with a light squeeze to Emma's knee.

Maleficent leans in to give Emma a hug and Emma nearly feels like she's coming undone at the touch, wanting nothing more than to sob gracelessly into Maleficent's shoulder, but she doesn't; she sniffs and holds it all in. Mal pets her back and whispers a sweet "thank you" into her ear, before pulling back just slightly, just enough to look into her eyes- watery eyes that reflect the glassiness found in Maleficent's own.

No one moved but yet somehow they are nose to nose, hearing only each other's breath and the beating in their hearts. It feels like all the air had been sucked from the room. Maleficent presses her forehead to Emma's. "You know we can't do this," she cautions as Emma guiltily licks her lips. "It would hurt Regina."

"-Who I'm in love with," Emma repeats the intonation as if she is trying to convince herself.

"Yes, dear," Mal agrees, tracing her thumb along the top of Emma's hand. "She's a very special person who doesn't deserve this from the two people closest to her." Mal removes herself from the bed and turns to leave.

She smiles sadly as she glances back at Emma from the door frame. "I really am truly sorry," she says as she closes the door. After a beat for the air to settle back into her lungs, she feels unsure about what Mal was truly referencing.

This stirs a million new thoughts in Emma's head. That pang she felt at watching Regina and Mal fall for each other, was it jealousy of Mal or Regina? Emma rubs her hands together; she's not so sure anymore.

~0~

“Emma, I’m happy. I’m really happy, but I miss you,” Regina tries to keep the emotion out of her voice as she pets her fingers along Emma’s hand that had been between them on the sofa.

“But you’re happy?” Emma wants assurance.

“Yes, but I’d would be happier if you didn’t avoid me so,” she says barely above a whisper. “Sometimes I worry if I’m throwing myself in too fast, because I know it’s a sure thing,” she muses, not having to bring up her actions with Robin again, Emma understands.

“You aren’t,” Emma squeezes her hand. “It’s not like Robin,” Emma assures her.

Regina sighs. "Emma, I'm happy," Regina repeats with a sudden intensity, the with Maleficent remains unsaid. She situates herself on the sofa to fully face Emma. "I want you to know that, because what I'm about to do has nothing to with that, okay?" Regina's using her mother voice on Emma and she nearly winces. She hasn't heard that tone in a while and she doesn't think she's ever heard it directed at herself.

"Okay," Emma agrees, confusion clear in her voice as she anxiously rubs her hands on her pants.

Then Regina leans over on the sofa. And she's pressing her lips to Emma's and Emma is shocked and frozen. This can't be real. But Regina is kissing her hard and it feels like caramel; it's thick and rich and Emma feels it drag on for eternity. Then Regina pulls back their lips slightly clinging as she does.

"I'm sorry," Regina smiles sheepishly as she catches her breath, running a hand though her hair. "I got a bit carried away..." she bites her lip guiltily as she scoots back.

"What- what was that for then?" Emma sputters still breathing hard, ideas bouncing abound the walls of her cranium madly.

"I - I thought it would work," she replies her voice distant. "Or I needed to be sure it wouldn't," she tries again, offering Emma a weak smile.

Emma's face puzzles for moment until her eyes grow wide in understanding. "And, so did it? work, I mean," Emma places the question gingerly on the table.

Regina huffs, defeated.

"Oh," Emma can't hide the disappointment in her voice. "Well that doesn't mean anything." She takes Regina's hand in hers. "Traumatic amnesia is different than being cursed, Gina."

"I know. I know," she sighs. "I just thought maybe- well I don't know what I thought." She focuses her gaze into Emma's eyes as if she is searching for answers there and Emma feels suddenly lost in those deep glowing orbs. Regina turns breaking the connection.

"I didn’t want to bring this up before, but you know, you know what was the last thing I remembered?" Regina begins, pulling her hand from Emma's, a new frustration creeping into her tone. She sips her drink looking distant, trapped in a memory. "You. breaking my heart. You - you told me Hook was your," she spits the words, "happy ending."

Emma takes a shaky breath in as Regina continues, her tone suddenly bordering on frantic. "How could you say that?" Regina pleads, a broken soul clearly cracking more. Her eyes large and water crested. "You're not even together anymore. How could you do that to me?"

"I - I-" Emma begins to stammer an apology but Regina waves it away.

"It's just like then my whole world fractured. I was sure. I was so sure. I know- I just know why that's the last thing I remembered," her voice thick with the tears that begin to fall. "It took me so, so long to finally feel whole again. Years of hard work, of trying to be a better person, therapy and- and that night," her voice falters and she sucks in more air sharply. "I gave you this mangled black piece of me, held together by haphazard tape and glue and parts from everyone I knew and you threw it on the ground." She turns away as a vicious sob rips threw her body. Emma tries to get closer to comfort her, but she knocks Emma's arm away. "I don't want your pity," she shakes her head ruefully. "I just want you to understand."

"Regina," Emma pleads, her own heart breaking in the process.

"What's worse is not that you didn't love me, but that my love wasn't worth the risk." She takes a shaky breath out, an attempt at self-soothing mediation. "I can't talk about this anymore."

She stands, her eyes hard as she glances down at Emma who wishes the couch would swallow her. "I'm going to bed, goodnight, Emma Swan."

Regina pauses at the threshold, all malice gone from her features. She just looked lost. "What ever happened to us, Emma?" The words ring out over the empty room, over the low grumble of Emma's tears.

Emma wraps her arms around herself. She feels like she's been shot, and she has been shot and boy she thinks she's rather have a literal bullet in her gut than this. She can't even move. She feels so horrible. She had been so angry with Regina thinking the worst in her that she was out to ruin Emma's happiness if it was the last thing she did, at least that what she told herself, but she knew deep down it wasn't true. Hook was safe and Emma wouldn't be so distraught had it dissolved on bad terms, in fact she wasn’t, but with Regina it was safer being her friend because Emma couldn't have coped with losing her. She knew that now. She could admit that to herself. Regina was too important. Regina is too important. At this moment Emma truly understands how Regina felt all those years ago when in futility of trying to keep Henry close, she drove him away.

Emma is pulled from her thoughts by a soft voice. Maleficent's figure settles in beside her, offering tea on the table nearby. "I didn't mean to overhear," she states offhandedly. "But since I did... I thought maybe you could use a friend."

Emma collapses into her lap. Her tears making puddles on Maleficent's skirt. Maleficent rubs her back gently.

"You- you should go be with Regina not me," Emma sputters though her sobs. "She- she's hurting too."

"In due time, sweet Emma. Regina's a big girl and can take care of herself for a while... but you darling, you looked like you could use someone now."

Emma knows she shouldn't read too much into Maleficent's pet names, Mal's like that with everyone. Every sentence is: "Regina dear" this, "Regina dear" that. But it still makes Emma feel warm inside.

They sit like that a while until Emma's sobs subside and she almost calms down, her breathing approaching normal. Then Maleficent leaves her, presumably to check on Regina, and Emma feels a cold wave rip through her body at the lack of warm touch.

~0~

Things are stilted for between Emma and Regina. Regina often leaves the room when Emma enters. Emma keeps suggesting that she should move out and Mal keeps convincing her to stay dragging her along by the hand.

“Regina doesn’t hate you, Emma,” Maleficent refutes in earnest. “but Regina is still hurting too much to let any other feelings happen.”

“But- but she won’t even talk to me,” Emma argues. “How can anything change if everything stays the same?”

“She just doesn’t think talking freely would be taken too well.” Mal looked at Emma. “She thinks you’re hurting too much too. And she’s already caused you enough pain.” It was complicated.

“Well that’s kind of her,” Emma sours.

“You know she is,” Mal agrees hastily. “But Regina won’t ever come to peace if anyone forces it on her, including me. You know that. She is trying, though. Trust me there,” Maleficent assures her, recollecting on how many nights Regina stays up late talking with her while she draws lazy circles on Regina’s stomach. _“I just need my space from Emma right now. I- I don’t want to say anything else I’ll regret. I- she’s important.” “I know, Re.”_

“I’m starting to think you want me around more than Regina,” Emma surmises, half a joking with a humpf.

“You know that’s not true, dear... But I’m not unhappy for the company either,” Mal smiles. “It will get better… Afterall we’ll need someone to pick up the pieces when I tell her about Lily…”

~0~

Regina enters the room approaching Emma her hands twist nervously within themselves. “Emma, I regret that I’ve been so distant, but I just needed some time to sort through my emotions,” Regina flusters, brushing hair gently behind her ear.

“No, Regina I get it,” Emma counters with an earnest smile and sincere look from those puppy dog eyes.

Regina sighs. “Hurt people, hurt people,” she offers as way of an explanation. “And I- I’m sorry,” she nearly grunts, the words always hard for her to say.

“I’m sorry too, Gina. You know that. I was stupid and you were right... if it matters, if I had the chance again, I wouldn’t make the same choices.”

“Damn right you wouldn’t!” Regina snarks in a high pitch lilting voice, a smile rising to the corners of her lips.

Emma was so taken aback by how of character that snap response was that she can’t help but laugh, a hearty full belly laugh that causes her to collapse over on her side. She pulls Regina down with her and they are laughing and smiling and it’s getting hard to breathe because she can’t stop laughing. And Regina is now laughing at her laugh, which makes her even laugh more. She missed her Regina like this. Regina laughs so hard she snorts and Emma swears she’s going to die from lack of oxygen. Eventually the laughter subsides and they remain entwined, chests heaving from the whole ordeal and they just gaze into each other’s eyes and Emma thinks something is about to happen. And then it doesn’t and Regina is pulling herself up and wishing Emma a goodnight from the doorway.

Emma is lying in bed waiting for sleep when she gets a text. She learns over to the nightstand to grab her phone and read it. It’s from Regina. “If you’re awake can you bring me some water?” Emma puzzles. That’s such a strange text to receive, but she shrugs and pulls herself out of bed. She pads down the steps into the quiet kitchen and fills a glass to bring to Regina.

She knocks on Regina’s bedroom door before entering. Soon appearing in the half open doorway is a tousled looking Regina. Emma pauses slightly stunned for a moment at the strangeness of all this.

Regina reaches out to claim the glass offered by Emma, downing it in one take before handing it back. “Thank you,” she offers quietly. Regina lingers in the doorway, brushing some hair behind her ear. It is then that Emma really notices her appearance: the robe that gapes too much at the top leaving little to Emma’s memory, her mussed hair, the way her eyes glow warm and she looks so soft. Regina notices Emma’s appraisal and suddenly shifts pulling her robe more closed, hiding the red marks yet to bruise from view.

Emma reels back slightly, somewhat embarrassed. “Oh, I’m sorry, you were-“ she begins hastily, the words tumble out before her brain can stop her mouth.

Regina grabs her free hand to keep Emma from fleeing. “Yes, we were,” Regina confirms a light lilt in quietness of her voice, casting a fleeting glance down at their joined hands. “I am adult. We’re married.” Regina’s not sure why she feels like she must explain herself. “And sometimes we do-“ _each other_ “,yes.”

Emma nods. She could just have ignored all this if it wasn’t shoved in her face. Emma feels like she must look so panicked, because in the next moment Regina is bringing their shared hands up and places a light kiss on Emma’s knuckles whilst never breaking eye contact. Emma feels her face flush at the exchange before she turns to leave, Regina calling out another gratitude at her retreating form.

This exactly what Emma should not be thinking about before she goes to sleep.

~0~

Regina whisks herself around the kitchen pulling items down from cupboards. Emma smirks down at her cereal; Regina is cute and domestic when wearing her apron. She feels Mal’s gaze upon her from across the table and smiles up at her weakly.

“What’s Lily up to nowadays?” Regina asks causally as she measures out some flour.

Maleficent pales and Emma begins to choke on her sandwich.

“It’s just that with the party coming up I want to know if she’ll be joining us,” Regina continues as she stirs. Mal goes over to pat Emma’s back. Emma continues sputtering for a moment but then get it under control.

Regina turns spatula in hand, pointed vaguely to Mal, “Well she is _our_ daughter after all, is she not?”

“Yes,” Mal answers, eyeing Regina cautiously.

“Good,” Regina beams, turning back to her baking.

Emma manages as causal as she can, “Mal, a word in the hallway.”

“Be right back, dear,” she calls to Regina. Regina waves a lazy hand, more focused on her stirring. 

“You felt that too, right? That was weird, right? Do you think she knows? Do you think she remembers?” Emma’s questions rush out like a broken dam.

“I- I don’t know, maybe,” Maleficent hesitates. “Or maybe we just feel guilty and are reading too much into this. It was a simple question.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Emma huffs. “So you’re gunna talk to her, right?”

“Of course, dear. Maybe just not right now. She seems stressed about the party.”

“Okay,” Emma agrees skeptically, returning to eat the rest of her sandwich alone.

Regina crosses the kitchen and as she does she by Emma, “Oh, Emma,” she smiles down wistfully. “You have a bit of peanut butter near your chin.”

Emma furiously goes about wiping at it with both sleeves. Regina clicks her tongue, shaking her head slightly, before reaching out to wipe it away herself. She strikes her thumb across Emma’s lips successfully removing the debris, then casually popping the gooey finger into her own mouth, before self-consciously removing it upon seeing Emma’s bugged eyes, offering only a shrugged explanation, “Old habit, you know Henry was a messy child.”

~0~

The night of the party comes. Much of the town has filed themselves into the manor to celebrate Regina’s recovery. Archie had suggested it. He had been meeting with Regina often to help her cope with losing her memory. He had said it would be good for Regina to reintegrate with everyone. He had decided that now she was probably ready to hear the details of her missing time, without being too overwhelmed, even if she couldn’t remember it herself.

Mary Margaret had been there all afternoon helping them set up. Regina had been a mess and Mal had spent most of the day at her side talking with her softly while playing with her hair. Emma just didn’t feel like it was her place to help. She didn’t want to intrude. She feels she should probably step back from Regina and Mal’s relationship. As Emma was assisting her mother hang a banner, Mary Margaret asks nonchalantly, “Since Regina is doing better now, when are you going to move out?”

“I- I-“ Emma sputters.

“Please tell me you’re not still clinging to something else, Emma,” Mary Margaret advises knowingly, a hint of pity colouring her tone. “Regina is happy.”

“I know, I know, and I’m not,” Emma decries. “It’s not that,” she rebukes evenly.

“Then what is it?” Mary Margaret inquires matter a fact.

“I – it’s like- I don’t know, they’re family,” Emma shrugs.

“Oh, so you get to- what? like play happy daughter to them?” Mary Margaret replies haughtily.

“No- no no, Mom, no, it’s not like that at all!” Emma assures her fervently. “Like at all at all.” She states firmly, nearly shivering at the awkward thought of that.

“Oh. My. God.” Mary Margaret pains. “You’re in some kind of sex trio with them, aren’t you?”

“What? No,” Emma laughs awkwardly. “No, no, no. We’re just close, that’s all…”

_Emma’s watches as she saunters over. She whispers in Emma’s ear, “I know how you feel about me.” Emma feels her lips brush against the shell of her ear as she speaks._

_Emma doesn’t even think twice about what to do next, pulling her in for a kiss gently. She lets out a small moan, before pulling apart and dragging Emma away by the hand up the stairs towards her bed. Emma pauses midway into the room her brain spinning in rapid panic. They shouldn’t be doing this._

_“Come on,” she tugs at Emma’s shirt, bringing them flesh together, smiling._

_“You’re married,” Emma places a warning hand on her chest._

_“What if I told you-“ she whispers silkily, before her eyes move distractedly toward the now opening door. “-Mal, took you long enough,” she calls out agitated, all sultriness from her voice gone._

_“Well a little miss someone got thirsty last time, so I was getting drinks,” Mal replies endearingly annoyed._

_“Oh,” Regina blushes. “Well, thank you.”_

“And I don’t think anyone calls it that,” Emma maintains softly.

“Well, I remember that day in Granny’s, before Regina’s accident where Regina was talking all about…”

“Mom, drop it okay,” Emma grumbles, pinning the banner up much too forcefully.

_“What are you doing to the poor girl?” Mal asks with concern, noticing Emma’s stricken look._

_“We were just role playing,” Regina announces._

_“Did you tell her that?” Mal questions, raising an eyebrow. “She looks like she’s going to pass out.” Maleficent protectively approaches Emma. “She looks petrified like I’m going to transform into a dragon and burn her to a crisp for touching my wife,” she turns and says directly to Regina hostilely._

_Emma takes a step back, “What’s going on?” Her body trembling with rage, nervousness, she doesn’t know which really. Regina reaches a hand out towards Emma and she smacks it away. “No, somebody please tell me what’s going on.”_

_“This is an invitation,” Mal steps cautiously forward. “Regina was-“ Mal pauses to click her tongue superiorly, debating the proper insult before declining,“- that’s not the point.” Regina feigns outrage and Mal flips her off. Maleficent gently takes Emma’s hands in her own. “I assure you, no pressure, dear. We won’t be upset either way, but if you would care to join in- activities, I think you could find it an enjoyable experience. As I said only if you would like.”_

_“Are- are you asking me-?” Emma sputters._

_“Yes,” Mal extends._

_“We thought you wanted this,” Regina contends, her eyes gazing upon Emma in earnest. “It’s no secret how you feel about me and you have been making eyes at Mal all dinner.”_

_“I don’t make eyes,” Emma insists embarrassed, tugging her hand from Mal’s and wrapping her arms protectively around her waist._

_Regina raises her eyebrow and Mal purses her lips, both unconvinced of Emma’s words._

Mary Margret does drop the subject, but the rest of the preparations continue without conversation. Emma feels a bit brushed off by her mother but is thankful to not have any more of that discussion. Soon the guests begin arriving and Regina appears on the stairs looking much too alluring for the atmosphere with her hair up and a dress that hugs her curves far too much for Emma to pull her eyes away.

She arrives at the bottom linking her arm into Mal’s. As they begin to stroll away, Emma pulls Regina gently back by the waist. “Your necklace,” she offers as she slides charm around from the nape of Regina’s neck to the front. Her hands delicately grazing Regina’s skin as she does. Regina flashes her a smile that makes Emma feel lightheaded.

Regina eventually pulls away from Mal making her way to the center of the commotion. Mal slides in beside Emma. Regina begins to say a few words of thanks for everyone coming to wish her well. _Always the politician working on public relations,_ Emma snickers to herself. Maleficent and Emma stand close while Regina makes her speech, their hands brushing, casting each other whimsical glances as their pinkies eventually interlock as they look upon Regina.

_“What- what happened to you don’t share?” Emma provokes Regina._

_“Well, we found a way to share Henry, didn’t we?” she reminds softly._

_“Emma, do you want this?” Maleficent asks, searching her eyes._

_“Have you… done this? like before, I mean,” Emma questions._

_“Let’s just say you were right to worry when the queens of darkness came to town,” Regina chuckles. Emma notices a brief sadness flicker in Maleficent’s eyes at Regina’s words before its quickly covered by her caring smile._

After the speech Emma is going to get herself a drink when she is suddenly pulled into a closet. Her eyes adjust to the dim light. “Lily?” she questions.

“Are you fucking my mom?” she demands.

Emma staggers backwards in the tight space. “Yeah, I’m fucking both of them,” Emma quips sardonically.

“That’s not funny,” Lily gripes. “-Wait! What do you mean both of them?”

Luckily, it’s dark in here and Lily can’t see the color drain from Emma’s face. Emma hesitates, before she remembers her saving grace: Maleficent and Regina are married. “Well like they’re married- so,” Emma flounders in explaining the obvious, “Regina’s like your stepmom, right? It’s a joke though. I’m not sleeping with anyone.”

Lily huffs. “Are you sure that’s all you meant?” Lily questions skeptically.

“Lily, come on. It was a joke,” Emma decries awkwardly. “Does it matter?”

“You are such a bad liar.” Lily turns to leave in a fury. Halfway out of the closet Emma grabs her arm. “Don’t don’t, don’t say anything,” she pleads. “Regina doesn’t know.”

_Emma had never felt so doted on her entire life. Regina was needy and rough, while Maleficent used languid teasing touches and was constantly asking if she felt good. Neither of them seemed to pay any attention to each other. Regina dragged her nails across all of Emma’s skin, claiming ownership in much the same way as she marked Emma’s neck and chest._

Lily rushes towards the room where everyone is gathering. She’s fuming, seething, eyes of the dragon taking over. Emma trails at her heels trying to yank her arm, trying to stop this before it starts. She pleads, but Lily tugs her arm away from Emma’s grasp. Lily’s barreling is not unnoticed by the other guests, “Mom, why – is Regina my-“

And Emma can’t let this happen, not here, not now. This is not how she deserves to learn this. So Emma says the first thing that comes to her mind, adrenaline pumping and she can’t think straight. “Last night I dreamt of a threesome with Mal and Regina.” Regina flinches and the room freezes.

She wishes she would have yelled out literally anything else. She feels the eyes of the room stare at her, her face flushing as she opens and closes her mouth to respond, coming up blank. Maleficent looks helplessly from Lily to Regina to Emma. Regina turns and slips away from the crowd, moving silently towards the back door. Emma futility reaches out in her direction.

Snow takes over ushing everyone out. Mal gently takes Lily by the arm to have their discussion away from the lingering prying eyes. Emma wanders outside and finds Regina sitting under her apple tree. Emma shyly sits down beside her. Regina doesn’t acknowledge her presence, her eyes fixed upon the stars in the sky. They sit there in silence for a while.

“Are you mad?” Emma asks weakly.

Regina sighs. “No.” Regina watches her own hand as it picks and twists with blades of grass between her fingers. “You know, I used to think this was so wrong…” She eyes Emma pointedly and upon viewing her bemused expression elaborates. “This,” she says with a gesture. Emma looks possibly more confused or simply mad. Regina chuckles before leaning over to reach out and cup Emma’s check. She runs her fingers over the frown lines, trying to smooth them. “You’re magnificent,” she lauds wistfully, staring deep into her eyes. “And no that- we’re- obviously- it’s just that there have always been obstacles- mostly people- but not always- mostly pirates.” She’s closer to Emma now. Words needn’t be barely more than a whisper.

They stare at each other for a heartbeat longer, Regina swaying on the brink of doing something _altogether stupid_ and Emma staring at her like she’s daring her to do it -

Regina then carefully pulls back. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear she asks, “So how was I?” Her eyes glint mischievously.

Emma gulps. She then opens her mouth to speak, then promptly closing it again.

A warm laugh arises from Regina. Her head tips back, her hair cascading. When she regains composure she repeats, “So?” accompanied by a playful eyebrow lift.

Realising Regina is not letting her out of this question, she awkwardly replies with a stilted, clipped “Good.”

“Only good?” Regina pouts. Lightly resting her hand near Emma’s, a gentle urge for conversation.

Emma eyes flit down to the offending appendage, then to Regina’s eyes, then down to her lips. Emma takes a deep breath in. _Was Regina’s hand always on my thigh? Why do I feel hot all over? Okay, Regina was definitely not on her knees before, was she?_ Emma feels everything too fast, yet events play out in slow motion.

Lips crash. Regina climbing on top of her, pinning her to the ground. Regina suddenly pulls back, flustered. “I’m sorry- I don’t know-“

Emma grabs her pulling her back down, flipping them over. “Is this okay?” she asks.

“Are you okay?” Regina asks, her voice laden with delicate concern as she gazes up with large pupils.

“Yeah,” Emma huffs through ragged breath, thrusting her knee down harder.

It had been a long time since she had fantasized about taking Regina under this apple tree.

…

“I know about Lily,” Regina confesses quietly picking her head lightly up from Emma’s chest to meet her eyes. “I remember. You were trying to protect me. That’s why I’m not mad. A younger me would have crushed your heart for that humiliation…” Regina sits up with a half laugh half sob, “Now, I’m not even sure I care… about these people- what they think of me… I wanted to give her a chance to tell me- to make it better- She’s given me so many chances… But I – I just need to stop being so concerned with what others want, sacrificing everything I want for the chance at redemption… maybe there are things I should learn- things that should remain from my time as the evil queen.”

“Well, I for one would like the outfits,” Emma pipes in.

“You would.” Regina rolls her eyes playfully. 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading, I got inspired for a story with Regina telling Emma to not marry h00k, when watching Little Women (2019) and it just kinda tumbled from there. Title is a quote from Tales of the City (2020). Hope you enjoyed <3


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